Oopsie

I accidentally let one rip on the subway today.

...Oops.

Boy do I know how to clear a place out or WHAT? Heh...heh heh..... heh heh heh heheheheh

New York...concrete jungle where dreams are made, oh, there's nothing you can't do...like hook yourself up to a Tequila IV.

So this has been a pretty big weekend for Ole George. I went into the Big Apple, also known as Manhattan. Here's a few touristy pics to prove I was there. (This is for all you "PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN" naysayers!)

And yes that is a halo.

As you can probably understand, as a president, I can't stay in any old place. What with security, my team of make-up artists and hairdressers, and posse of mah boiz we need a place to stay.  When you were around before the St Regis was built, you can only stay there so many times before you kind of want to stay somewhere home-y  Luckily my good friend Andrew Jackson put me up in his apartment.  He let me stay there under one condition: That I do not Repeat: do NOT sleep in his bed.



SUCK IT, JACKSON HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.



That's right, I SLEPT in his bed! You should know that when G Dubs is told not to do something, he goes ahead and does it!

"G Dubs, don't revolt against your home country!"  SCREW YOU!
"G Dubs, you sit down while we cross The Delaware!" AS IF!
"G Dubs, stop bogarting that hooker and send her to my r-" Oh! uhhhh...moving on.

Now, under any normal circumstances, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to sleep in my old buddy's bed after he'd told me not to.  Which is exactly why I needed to enlist the help of a few...friends


First, I hit the bottle. Hard.

Then after a few of those, I changed it up a little.  I poured my beer into a mug.

'Cause I'm classy.




Then, things took a turn for the interesting.  I pulled a Nurse Jackie and hooked mah-self UP!

Literally.

You are reading that correctly, my FAs.  That is a TEQUILA IV.  Only in New York.

So there's only one logical step after you are directly injecting alcohol into your arm.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I'M MAKING PILL ANGELS!


Needless to sa-oops. Okay, back to black. Moving on, needless to say, things felt a little...well, like this:

This is about the time where I decided it'd be awesome to go to the roof and take pictures.  Yup, I'm a smart one.  It's really a miracle this country is still around considering it had a guy like me at the helm.  Anyway, it took a few tries to get a good one...

But with some (okay, a lot) of assistance, I made it.

That was the last leg of my adventure, and by the time I got home, I was ready to pass the heck out in the comfiest bed I could find, which was...


Say it with me...



ANDREW JACKSON'S.



*Actual author did not partake in the alcohol or pill taking portion of these festivities. Actually, that was a lie.  The beer and mug were hers.

G Dubs goes Downtown ;) ...Brooklyn, that is

Good afternoon my Fellow Americans! My FaaaAs. My FAlalalalas. My American Children. Okay, enough of that, I hear you. I'm with you. Anyway.

Today I had quite the relaxing lunch.

As you can see I've armed myself with my afternoon Giant Cup-O-Joe, or as I like to call it, Very Very Venti. And kudos to you if you realized the cream cheese on the bagel was vegetable. Being in the public eye gets me a lot of scrutiny, so I'm trying to watch my waistline. I never want to see the day where I will ever be more than a single-finger sized puppet.






Now that I've caught you up on my exciting Presidential Friday, I should tell you about my trip to my favorite town, Boston. My weekend there was spent with a very inpirational young man. Perhaps you've heard of him. He's a real up-and-comer named Barack Obama, no relation. I don't actually know what that means, but I often hear people say that after introducing a person, and I wanted to try it out.

Anyhoo, Barack and I decided to start our trip off right. The 'Rack as I've affectionately started calling him...right at this moment...wanted to stop off for a pizza. We made a pit stop at this little town called Mystic, in Connecticut. 'Rack-y Bal-bama thought he was being funny by covering up the letters and saying we were in Aven.

Yeah, I don't get it either. But he obviously thinks he's hysterical (You can tell he does, just look at his face) so I just go with it. Another "Great idea" this kid had was to go visit our old stomping grounds. Many people don't know this, but Barack and I lived together in a white house before moving our seperate ways and living in The White House.

This is us in a crappy photo in front of the house.

Those girls are our servents ...If you know what I mean *wink wink*

You know what? Forget I said that because if Michelle finds out, she'll skin The 'Rack.


Until next time, My FAs!

My fellow Americans...

I suppose this is the post where I say hello.

Well...hello! President George Washington here, and in case you were wondering, yes I AM a finger puppet.  My heart's desire is to show you, the American People, what I do in my daily life.  I suppose it's time to begin to tell you about my journeys.

Today was my first day at work.

...That was a lie. Today was my fourth day at work, but I was forgotten in a purse until today. But boy do I wish I hadn't left that purse! From the moment I left it was "Mr President this" and "Your Majesty that."  (Okay, no one addressed me as Your Majesty, but a guy can dream, right?) and before I knew it I was answering phone calls and talking to foreigners who I was certain had sneezed when they told me their names. On an unrelated note: They don't appreciate when you say God Bless You.  As you can so clearly see, I work VERY hard and I could not take much more of it before reverting back to my usual antics.

What are my usual antics, you ask? Well...This



Oh ho ho! I'm a rapscallion, I am! Well, until next time, Fellow Americans, or FAs, as I'll call you.  Good night.